Have been an element of raising kids for longer than any of us can remember. We can recall the times we misbehaved when we were kids, and the consequential punishments.
We can reflect on at least a few recent situations when some parent had to use a punishment to discourage misbehaviors in their own children.Looking at the reliability of this phenomenon, it demonstrates that punishment does not alternate the tendency to engage in the behavior of the child that was punished, instead, it makes the child to stay away from the source of the punishment temporary.
The reason is, as soon as the kid think there are not being watched (as soon as the situation seems different in some ways), the propensity to engage in the behavior will reassert itself.
Punished kids goes back to do what they were punished for in their parents back, or as soon as they get to school. Though sometimes, punishment is vital, like when you try to prevent a little child from running into a busy street.But sticking to it, you need to reinforce a behavior that competes with running into the road (like stopping and waiting for the light). You cannot count on punishment alone, or your kids will run into the road while you are not with them.
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment. Mahatma Gandhi
Major Reasons Why we Punish Children
The first impression is that punishment seems like it really works although it doesn’t.
Because the kid is inhibited to your presence, it is not easy to expect they could be inhibited in your absence.
Punishment produces politeness, but not morality, also, the inhibited, obedient child inadvertently reinforces the parents’ punitive behavior by pretending to be obedient.The second purpose parent punishes children is due to the fact there get angry by their act. An uncontrolled and disobedient child makes their guardian flare up.
Though punishment makes them cry or look dissatisfied, and those tears and that look are reinforced when parents are angry, and for most parents, an excessive damage to the kid could be aversive.
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If parents are not so confused about aggression, parents will acknowledge their anger on their kids, with this method, parent can engineer a constructive application of it, in place of pretending there are not irritated and letting it loose as punishment.
Instead, parent fools themselves into thinking that there are not angry with the kids saying there are simply coaching them, and then get to enjoy hurting them with punishments without feeling awful about spotting what that really matters.
Though, the main goal of parenting is to increase self-regulation. Many parents want to elevate their children to behave properly in any situation not thinking about the outcome.
Countless research has revealed the long-term impact of different parenting styles on kids.
- They have found that kids raised in strict, or authoritarian families are much more likely to lack self-discipline when compared to children with empathetic or authoritative parents.
- Also, punitive discipline fails to correctly train the kid, letting the child think maybe there is a part of me that is redundant or is awful.
- Furthermore, children observe that power wins over reasoning. Because authoritarian parenting centers their view on obedience instead of discussion, children are likely to understand emotion and reasoning.
- They also become more susceptible to anxiety, rebellion, and depression.
The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice..
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There are effective ways to discipline a child without using authoritarian kinds of punishment. Here are a few exceptional strategies you can use to educate your children when they have made a terrible choice.
- Get right down to their level, hold their hands, and wait for their undivided attention.
- Ask them why they misbehaved.
- Acknowledge their emotions.
- Talk about what is expected of them and how they can improve.
- Remove them from the situation but also move along with them.
This is basically a variation timeout in which you are there to help calm them down and then educate them through where they went wrong.
You can have the child sit on the side of a social interaction if you can’t go away the room with them.
Talk them through their emotions as they sit to the side, and reconnect with them once calm and talk it out.
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At a very young age, children amplify a form of different attitude. There are things they actually love and feel like they cannot stay without e.g. certain toys, TV shows, and dessert.
Putting off the usage of those devices or those experiences can act as a brilliant incentive for a kid to make amends.You can use a specific praise to shape their behavior. A positive reinforcement is a super tactic while trying to get the most out of a child.
While saying “Good job,” is right, the use of these examples has many impacts.
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